


legacy

by diminishedmercury



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst with bad ending, F/M, M/M, Past Abuse, a sad boi, dark themes, introspective Jaakuna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 19:22:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18971473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diminishedmercury/pseuds/diminishedmercury
Summary: On some level, he still belongs to Kira and Jaakuna knows that this is an undeniable fact. It's as concrete as the fact that living beings need oxygen to live. Jaakuna belongs to Kira and some day, he will fall back into his hands. He's scared of that day.OR: a look into Jaakuna's mind post-resurrection.





	legacy

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions about the characters seen in this piece, just leave a comment!  
> This was mostly written for me and my roleplay friends to enjoy, so without some context, it likely makes little sense.

There are things in life that Jaakuna isn't even sure how he should approach. His past, for one, his relationship with Ayame for another, and his present day life for yet another. He still suffers from visions and flashbacks of horrible things that go bump in the night, he still sees Kira's face staring blankly into his dying light when he closes his eyes. Nothing is good and fair and yet, Ayame is all of these things at once and he doesn't know how to handle it. It can't all be good intention- nothing and no one has ever shown him kindness with good intention. So, it's difficult for him to believe that Ayame just genuinely cares for him or that she actually just wants to know him deeply and intimately. He's cautious in what he reveals about himself and if she has questions, she doesn't ask them and that again confuses him while he still has her. He finds himself deeply devoted to this woman despite how much that it scares him.

Even after sharing with her  _why_ the village has designated him as "the Zombie boy", he can't tell her all that he knows of the man that murdered him once upon a time. It's too dangerous to have knowledge like that and if ( _when_ ) Kira finds out about his resurrection, he knows that the man will hunt him down to the ends of the Earth. He's seen the singlemindedness the man is capable of- and even more concerning, he knows the lengths that the man will go to to ensure he gets what he desires. He should have never let his life be entangled with such a violent creature (Jaakuna can't even think of Kira as  _human_ after the things he's seen the man do), but what was a scared, starving fourteen year old with no family left to do? He doesn't know. He can't blame himself for everything, but he can't help it. If he'd just walked away... but even then, he's sure that Kira would have found a different way to possess him if he'd rejected his offer of food and shelter to begin with.

On some level, he still belongs to Kira and Jaakuna knows that this is an undeniable fact. It's as concrete as the fact that living beings need oxygen to live. Jaakuna belongs to Kira and some day, he will fall back into his hands. He's scared of that day. He could kill Kira, he's sure of it, but Kira always has someone else to do his dirty work for him, always has someone to take out the fight of a creature (and he knows this as fact too, for once upon a time, he was that someone).

He lays awake at night thinking about this more often that he would like to admit. He gets no rest and he hopes the exhaustion kills him for good. He doesn't want Uta to bring him back again. He wants to lay to rest in oblivion forever. He doesn't want to be used again. 

He sees Kira in his dreams again that night and he looks down to see his hands shaking and hears that husky laughter in his ears. It surrounds him and constricts him and he's frozen. He flinches when he feels hands on his waist and a cold body pressed to his back and he feels sick to realize he's missed this touch. He leans his head back and looks up into blood red eyes that glow with malice and hates the fact that he's missed those too.

"Why do you run, pet? You can't escape." He can't, _he can't_ , **_he can't_**. He feels one of those hands move up his body and touch his face to pull away the mask he uses to hide the scars that same hand has burned into his neck and carved into his cheeks. He thinks that he's crying, but he's not certain. A finger traces his lips. "Tears? Are these for me?"

"Yes," He hears his voice but he doesn't feel his lips move to form the word. He is still frozen and he doesn't know if that is from the fear or the overwhelming bloom of love in his chest.

"You flatter me, pet." There's a hand on his throat now, and the grip on his waist tightens, and it hurts, hurts, hurts. But  _Gods_ he has missed this and he thinks that he may puke. "I will find you."

"I know," His voice is tiny and insignificant in comparison to his old master's.

"You are  _mine._ "

He jolts awake after that and he realizes that he was crying in his sleep,  _again_ , and he feels weak, useless, and tired. "I know," he answers back to the ghost of Kira, curling in on himself and flinching away when Nyla presses a concerned paw against his arm. He tries to think of anything else that will bring him comfort and lands on Ayame's face in his mind. But she's gone too now, left with no goodbye, and he's left with a sorrow in his heart and pain behind his eyes. Good intentions have never gotten him anything in life and Ayame has proved that to him now. The healing that had started has faded away in Ayame's absence and he hates that he can't escape the ghost of a man long removed from his life. Lonely nights and dark thoughts are all that he can find solace in- they're a constant. Something he's known since he was a small child. There's a dark sort of comfort in that at least. Routine is one thing that he grips onto with a ferocious tenacity.

Screams and red painted hands,

That is his legacy.


End file.
